The phrase, "Breaking up is hard to do," says it perfectly, breaking up with someone that you have been in a relationship is very difficult. In fact, even if you know that the relationship was a dead end it can still be very painful to close that chapter of your life and move on. While it is difficult, you still have a lot of life ahead of you and you need to make the most of it while you can. You can move on after a bad breakup, you just have to want to move on!
Making Your Move
After a breakup you are going to feel a mixture of emotions. You may feel sad, mad, or even really happy and this is normal. For the first couple of weeks you need to give yourself permission to feel these emotions and really explore them. When you give yourself permission to go through the range of emotions that you are feeling you will be able to complete the grief process. When you break up it really is a grief process because you are grieving the loss of not only a relationship, but also the person and your connection to them. Going through the motions will allow you to move past them.
Turn to your friends after a breakup. They will be a great source of comfort and joy in the coming weeks. Of course, they aren't going to want to hear your stories of your breakup all the time. You should talk about it with your friends and then move on to new topics. Allow your friends to distract you and remind you that life will go on even with out the person who has completed you for some time.
Take on some new hobbies to distract you and give you something to look forward to. Maybe you have always wanted to learn how to paint, try rock climbing, go hiking, or make pottery. Now is the time to throw yourself into these things and learn something new. A new hobby or even an old hobby will give you an opportunity to explore new sides of who you are, and even find new parts of yourself that you did not know or haven't seen for some time.
If you cannot seem to move on after your break up you should get help. Sometimes just talking to an unbiased person, such as a counselor or minister, can help you change your outlook and just begin to look at the breakup in a more healthful manner. Getting help isn't something to be ashamed of, it is something to be proud of because you are doing your best to take care of yourself.
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